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Post by Phoenix on Jun 15, 2014 19:25:21 GMT
Hi every one
Ive been dealing with a lot of overt abrasiveness and rudeness from my parents and siblings. This behavior has been lifelong, and furthermore unexplained. For example, if their all in a room talking or watching a movie often theyll sigh and sometimes even pause the movie or leave the room. Recently we went on a trip to visit my granddad in South Carolina (he has cancer) and they got agitated with me and said amomgs themselves " why did she have to come anyway?" I've tried to calmly ask them why they treat me this way, and often they'll tell me to "stop bothering them/ fuck off/etc" and even when I keep quiet and try not to interact with them they say rude things. My 17 year old sister openly calls me a slut because I'm a feminist ( sad but true) and my parents condone it. I was sexually abused by a male relative during my childhood and my PARENTS ARE AWARE OF THIS YET BASICALLY DID NOTHING TO STOP IT. often when I retaliate they put the blame on me. I'm tired of being treated like garbage and I've even thought about becoming an escort just so I can get out of my parents house ( I don't have my own car or enough money to move on my own. im a college student (community college) & I work part time but its not enough to get me in my own apartment. I'm 23 by the way. my parents are currently finalizing a nasty divorce (my mom cheated on my dad with 4 different men). She's been drinking a lot lately and sometimes asks me for my money that I make from work. She lives out of a rented hotel room with her boyfriend, yet they refer to ME as a slut. Does anyone here have a similar family ordeal/abusive situation and if yes then how did you overcome it? I could really use the advice.
Thanks and much love
- Phoenix
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Post by Heidi on Jun 15, 2014 21:34:33 GMT
I think you shoulld avoid them...stay in your room when you see them.Talk to them less.They will never change..all you can do is change how you react or resond to them ...sorry this is happening to you...Im distant from my family because they do not respect me...you can be in the same room with family and just ignore them, walk away leave the house or go in your room and lock the door.
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Post by Ivory on Jun 16, 2014 6:56:55 GMT
I would keep my distance. They sound abusive. Please don't be an escort. It could be dangerous. You've been through enough as it is. When possible, get your own place (sharing with others will be cheaper). In the meantime, save up as best you can and start branching out from your family. Find people you can depend on when you need to. You can do so much better than this, and you will. When you feel desperate, remember that change is coming, so make sure you're ready for it.
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Post by ladycc on Jun 16, 2014 10:22:12 GMT
Prayers go up for you Phoenix. The ones who we know as "family" in many cases seldom behave as family. I ask the lord to protect you in that house..and I ask you to not become an escort. Blessings..to you being in college & having a job..save money now. Ask fellow classmates about becoming roommate. Work another job on campus. Pray/meditate when your family verbally abuses your character/spirit. Put up a VISION BOARD in your room..make a goal to be on your own. Love your mom & just pray for her. Hi every one Ive been dealing with a lot of overt abrasiveness and rudeness from my parents and siblings. This behavior has been lifelong, and furthermore unexplained. For example, if their all in a room talking or watching a movie often theyll sigh and sometimes even pause the movie or leave the room. Recently we went on a trip to visit my granddad in South Carolina (he has cancer) and they got agitated with me and said amomgs themselves " why did she have to come anyway?" I've tried to calmly ask them why they treat me this way, and often they'll tell me to "stop bothering them/ fuck off/etc" and even when I keep quiet and try not to interact with them they say rude things. My 17 year old sister openly calls me a slut because I'm a feminist ( sad but true) and my parents condone it. I was sexually abused by a male relative during my childhood and my PARENTS ARE AWARE OF THIS YET BASICALLY DID NOTHING TO STOP IT. often when I retaliate they put the blame on me. I'm tired of being treated like garbage and I've even thought about becoming an escort just so I can get out of my parents house ( I don't have my own car or enough money to move on my own. im a college student (community college) & I work part time but its not enough to get me in my own apartment. I'm 23 by the way. my parents are currently finalizing a nasty divorce (my mom cheated on my dad with 4 different men). She's been drinking a lot lately and sometimes asks me for my money that I make from work. She lives out of a rented hotel room with her boyfriend, yet they refer to ME as a slut. Does anyone here have a similar family ordeal/abusive situation and if yes then how did you overcome it? I could really use the advice. Thanks and much love - Phoenix |
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Post by ladycc on Jun 16, 2014 10:22:27 GMT
Prayers go up for you Phoenix. The ones who we know as "family" in many cases seldom behave as family. I ask the lord to protect you in that house..and I ask you to not become an escort. Blessings..to you being in college & having a job..save money now. Ask fellow classmates about becoming roommate. Work another job on campus. Pray/meditate when your family verbally abuses your character/spirit. Put up a VISION BOARD in your room..make a goal to be on your own. Love your mom & just pray for her. Hi every one Ive been dealing with a lot of overt abrasiveness and rudeness from my parents and siblings. This behavior has been lifelong, and furthermore unexplained. For example, if their all in a room talking or watching a movie often theyll sigh and sometimes even pause the movie or leave the room. Recently we went on a trip to visit my granddad in South Carolina (he has cancer) and they got agitated with me and said amomgs themselves " why did she have to come anyway?" I've tried to calmly ask them why they treat me this way, and often they'll tell me to "stop bothering them/ fuck off/etc" and even when I keep quiet and try not to interact with them they say rude things. My 17 year old sister openly calls me a slut because I'm a feminist ( sad but true) and my parents condone it. I was sexually abused by a male relative during my childhood and my PARENTS ARE AWARE OF THIS YET BASICALLY DID NOTHING TO STOP IT. often when I retaliate they put the blame on me. I'm tired of being treated like garbage and I've even thought about becoming an escort just so I can get out of my parents house ( I don't have my own car or enough money to move on my own. im a college student (community college) & I work part time but its not enough to get me in my own apartment. I'm 23 by the way. my parents are currently finalizing a nasty divorce (my mom cheated on my dad with 4 different men). She's been drinking a lot lately and sometimes asks me for my money that I make from work. She lives out of a rented hotel room with her boyfriend, yet they refer to ME as a slut. Does anyone here have a similar family ordeal/abusive situation and if yes then how did you overcome it? I could really use the advice. Thanks and much love - Phoenix |
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Post by Phoenix on Jun 17, 2014 0:31:06 GMT
thanks so much for your answers everyone! All of you are right, and I definetly wont do the escort thing either. I love you all and thank you for being here for me, DR Family
love and Blessings always,
Phoenix
<3
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Post by eljjai on Jun 17, 2014 8:05:19 GMT
From what I have seen of these types of situation, your parents mistreating you is their way of escaping their guilt and trying to avoid taking responsibility for what happened to you. They know they failed you and they know they are at fault for not protecting you. This manifests into hostility towards you. It's nothing you did. They are messed up. They view you as a trouble maker because you are evidence of their poor parenting. You are a constant reminder of how they failed. Your siblings take their cue from your parents. They mistreat you because your parents mistreat you.
Like another poster said there is nothing you can do to change them but you can change yourself and your circumstances. Focus on changing your life, building a better life for yourself. Escorting might free you financially but will keep you a victim emotionally. You don't want that. Work hard and keep your eye on the prize. Use your difficult circumstances as drive for your success.
Wishing you all the best.
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Post by giftofdiscernment on Jun 17, 2014 19:17:58 GMT
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Post by Guest XXX on Jun 17, 2014 22:43:29 GMT
Little sister, I'm so sorry you're going through hell. The Devil is so busy and he is also a lie! How I wish I could speak with you personally because I counsel many young women like yourself to help them maneuver through life with the cards they've been dealt.
First thing you must realize is that you can definitely change your situation. You might can't change the people, but you can change your life for the better. You have to believe this! And if you're spiritually grounded like myself, then your prayers to the Father (the real "I am that I am, Father") and the lifting of our ancestors will make this happen. And there will be no need to escort and put your precious temple on sale. I know you're working and going to school but your environment is what concerns me. I feel as though your immediate family is jealous of you because you seem so kind hearted and down to Earth. You might have to skip College for a semester to get a full time job to get out of the situation. But most of all stay grounded and pray. Never stop praying because God said, ask for anything in my name and you will get it. Also pray for your family as well because they need help, too. Maybe not in the same way. Sometimes people will go out of their way to be rude (this includes immediate family members) because you're not acting like they are. That's where the jealously set in. So keep praying and trying to seek outside counseling. I hope this has helped some. But remember...Never ever put yourself in an escort situation.
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Post by Phoenix on Jun 18, 2014 2:31:42 GMT
thank you all so much! its been rough, especially because I'm older now and I constantly have to hear comments such as "why cant you get a better job so you can get out?" and whatnot. As for the comment about them possibly being mentally ill, I know my mom was told she has depression but she "felt she didn't need therapy because it would just make her push her problems to the back of her mind and wouldn't bring any real change" (her words). she can be moody and violent when she drinks. at one time my grandma thought she was on drugs because she once accused me of being pregnant (and I wasnt sexually active at all at the time) and she didnt apologize until months later when I told her it still hurt me. But she's had similar episodes since that time. as for my dad, hes pretty much rude to women in general..so yeah.
but nonetheless, thank you for your love and support everyone
<3
xoxoxoxoxo
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Post by Phoenix on Jun 18, 2014 2:36:21 GMT
wow, you seem to know exactly whats going on!  thank you so much, by the way..I saw you posted about psychics predicting Bey/Jays downfall. are you psychic as well? Im asking because of the way you worded your response thanks to everyone all as well!! hope your having a peaceful evening Phoenix |
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Post by Phoenix on Jun 18, 2014 2:48:23 GMT
my last post about psychic content was in reply to Guestxxx for some reason, I couldnt post it as a reply the normal way, lol  |
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Post by giftofdiscernment on Jun 18, 2014 4:04:33 GMT
thank you all so much! its been rough, especially because I'm older now and I constantly have to hear comments such as "why cant you get a better job so you can get out?" and whatnot. As for the comment about them possibly being mentally ill, I know my mom was told she has depression but she "felt she didn't need therapy because it would just make her push her problems to the back of her mind and wouldn't bring any real change" (her words). she can be moody and violent when she drinks. at one time my grandma thought she was on drugs because she once accused me of being pregnant (and I wasnt sexually active at all at the time) and she didnt apologize until months later when I told her it still hurt me. But she's had similar episodes since that time. as for my dad, hes pretty much rude to women in general..so yeah. but nonetheless, thank you for your love and support everyone <3 xoxoxoxoxo Phoenix, I know you can and will find your way out of this wiht the support of your Higher Power. You seem to be wise beyond your years, conscious, and coming from a place of love. You WILL find joy through this storm and ALL storms. You are in my thoughts and prayers. One Love!!! insert code here |
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Post by Phoenix on Jun 18, 2014 4:18:36 GMT
@ Giftofdiscernment: yes indeed thank you and love, peace, and light to you as well God Bless~ |
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Post by Guest XXX on Jun 18, 2014 6:39:09 GMT
wow, you seem to know exactly whats going on! thank you so much, by the way..I saw you posted about psychics predicting Bey/Jays downfall. are you psychic as well? Im asking because of the way you worded your response thanks to everyone all as well!! hope your having a peaceful evening Phoenix Hi Phoenix my little sister, Hope you're doing well. The best way to explain what I am would be...Anointed, Spiritual, a Warrior, and a Visionary. All of which has been groomed by the elders in my family ever since I was born. I'm not a psychic but we do share some of the same gifts. The few psychics I've met do things a little different from me and also get their energy/power from a different place than I do. I'm nothing all that special or different from other people. In my world it's just a normal thing for me that I have to deal with sometimes. I would love to share more but I doubt this is the place for it. But here's what I want you to do. I need you to read 2 or 3 chapters in Psalms everyday, starting from chapter 16. If you don't have a bible use the internet to seek these scriptures. You can either read them out loud (putting them in the atmosphere) or listen to the audio version. This is about seeking grace and mercy from the most high and you need both. Read these scriptures and don't forget to repent in your prayers, which is very important to do. The goodness in you is trying to be destroyed in the worst way and we can't let that happen. You have a purpose, a calling on you and I already know that you know this. You just don't know how to save yourself. Please try doing what I asked so that your core can start repairing and you can move forward towards your new life. I'll be lifting you up over here. Going in on your behalf and I'll check back to see how you're doing. Here's a much needed kiss and hug from me...XOXO <3 #TeamPhoenix |
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Post by Phoenix on Jun 18, 2014 20:43:48 GMT
@ Guestxxx
thank you so much, love. And I definetly have a bible. I'm a spiritual person myself (I grew up in a christian home but I have a more spiritual/universal approach now, as an adult. to be honest. I didn't want to be an escort at all, I just felt so desperate to get out of my parents house I thought about it. but Ive definetly changed my mind. The verbal abuse from them hasnt changed though..and what confuses me even more is that sometimes theyll "play nice" but when I try to be closer to them they chew me out once more. Its an exhausting cycle. but I would definetly like to keep in touch with you. By the way, my real (birth) name is Aria, not phoenix (lol). I only call myself phoenix on here for safety/privacy reasons..and also when I was sixteen I had been overcoming obstacles and read a mythology book talking about how to phoenix rises from the ashes..so I compared it to rising above my ashes/trials heres a link to my facebook page, if you (as well as all of you on this thread) would like to add me:
www.facebook.com/Forever.Emacipated.Phoenix
if you don't have facebook my email address is exoticaria@yahoo.com
thanks so much, again
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Post by Elle McRealson on Jun 19, 2014 1:01:38 GMT
Phoenix, I'm so sorry to hear, what you're going through! Don't ever fall, just because you're family is trippen! If I was you, I would stay as busy as possible with positive things: school, work, hobbies,only positive people. Make a plan, figure out what type of apartment you want, car etc then figure out how much you'll need to make a month to support your plan (and still save some coins). A great website for jobs is www.indeed.com I was also molested as a child, unfortunately too many of us were, its really important to heal those wounds so you don't carry them with you and into your relationships, going to counseling personally helped me a lot. In the meantime and in-between time this may sound harsh but you can't loan your mom or any other family members any money- you have plans for your coins! No one should be treating you like this, its heartbreaking that this is coming from family but you can't choose your family. You seem like a wise young lady, you'll turn this test into a testimony and use it to encourage someone else when they need it. I'm praising The Most High in advance for you!  |
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Post by Phoenix on Jun 19, 2014 4:39:02 GMT
@ Elle Mcrealson
thank you so much! many blessings and much love to you as well!! <3
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Post by Guest XXX on Jun 19, 2014 7:45:47 GMT
Little sister, There are many reasons why Escorting isn't healthy for the mind and the body. But let me share this with you. Most of us already have our own demons we're fighting with daily to overcome and find success. That's just the way it is because the adversary needs a place to dwell, so he becomes desperate and on the hunt for a body. But when you have sex with another person, you inhabit and take on their spiritual (demonic) garbage as well. Let's just say you Escorted and had sex with just 2 men, then you'll be infested with their spiritual garbage as well as, whomever they've had sex with and so forth. Are you understanding me? You'd be more in bondage than you were before. Keep your temple clean. Start by reading those scriptures I gave you and repent..repent..repent! This is not a game and I normally don't offer this kind of help over the internet. People would either call me or come by to visit. I do know that once your core begins to change you will see things much clearer. Your strength and courage will increase and your guide will lead you to the freedom, peace and respect your entitled to. Also, after you've read your Bible in your room...do not close the book. Leave it opened. Remember, we are looking for grace and mercy. Which will lead you to a better life. Mind, body, soul and spirit.
Big hugs and kisses to you XOXOXOXO
<3
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Post by Heidi on Jun 21, 2014 2:56:47 GMT
Little sister, There are many reasons why Escorting isn't healthy for the mind and the body. But let me share this with you. Most of us already have our own demons we're fighting with daily to overcome and find success. That's just the way it is because the adversary needs a place to dwell, so he becomes desperate and on the hunt for a body. But when you have sex with another person, you inhabit and take on their spiritual (demonic) garbage as well. Let's just say you Escorted and had sex with just 2 men, then you'll be infested with their spiritual garbage as well as, whomever they've had sex with and so forth. Are you understanding me? You'd be more in bondage than you were before. Keep your temple clean. Start by reading those scriptures I gave you and repent..repent..repent! This is not a game and I normally don't offer this kind of help over the internet. People would either call me or come by to visit. I do know that once your core begins to change you will see things much clearer. Your strength and courage will increase and your guide will lead you to the freedom, peace and respect your entitled to. Also, after you've read your Bible in your room...do not close the book. Leave it opened. Remember, we are looking for grace and mercy. Which will lead you to a better life. Mind, body, soul and spirit. Big hugs and kisses to you XOXOXOXO <3 I love this advice ..I keep my Bible open all of the time my Mother tought me this! You are so right in saying those we have sex with we become infested with their spiritual garbage... |
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Post by missy on Jun 22, 2014 23:24:47 GMT
Try to stay in school. Stay positive. Stay in prayer. This is your dark tunnel, there's a light at the end. I'm rooting for you, dont become an escort. I know it's hard. All this will make you stronger. God loves you.
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thank you so much, by the way..I saw you posted about psychics predicting Bey/Jays downfall. are you psychic as well? Im asking because of the way you worded your response
